I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
