Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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