umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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