I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
