i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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