He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
