Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
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iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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