Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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