You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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