so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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