we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My life is pants optional.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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