There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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