I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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