My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
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She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
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she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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