the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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