Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
