I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
