The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
