Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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