i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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