I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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