im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize