Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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