Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
