the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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