Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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