it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I love having hate sex.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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