This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
