i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
