you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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