I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
