I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
