Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
