also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
