She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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