i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize