I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
