My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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