I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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