I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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