do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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