Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
