I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
