Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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