I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
