I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
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just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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