Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She just used a chaser for red wine.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
