yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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