that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
worst night to have a conscience
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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