I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize