Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
