i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.