I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"