She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
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And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
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classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.