when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
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She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
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There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that