so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Whats that? My new stripper name?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.