I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize