you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
