He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
