He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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