Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
