According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
