Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
