Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
