She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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