All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
