Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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