Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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