I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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