She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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