I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
