I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
