If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
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He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
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Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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