it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize