New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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