Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
